First trip to IIMA

Finally the day to leave for IIMA arrived. I boarded the Ashram express at 1500 hours from Old Delhi railway station on 18th June'09. I was travelling in a first class compartment for the first time. I had a notion that since a 3rd class compartment has 6 seats and a 2nd class has 4 seats, a first AC will have two seats. With me being a lone traveller, i was expecting the goddess of fate to smile at me and bless me with a female companion.

First look at the compartment and the truth dawned upon me. First AC also has 4 seats, only difference being that it is closed compartment with a few improvements in aesthetics over a 2nd AC. But then i guess even fate gets bored by screwing the same person over and over again. A german couple were my occupants of same compartment. That german chic was easily one of the most beautiful girls that i had ever seen. We talked a lot about India and Rajasthan in particular. I have only been to Jaipur in rajasthan. With this bit info and a few other crumbs earned from Bollywood movies i talked like an expert on rajasthan culture. I also didnt mind throwing in the fact that i was going to join IIMA - toughest B-school in this world in terms of applicants to final offers ratio. Luckily that girl knew about IIMA as she was studying in a German B-school with which IIMA has an exchange program. I could see why alumni say that this course changes your life and earns you respect... though I was hardly eager for respect. :)

After realising, actually finally admitting in my heart that she wasn't single, i sat on the top berth. This was the only place where i could sit and stare at her without being stared back by her male companion. Around 8 PM a girl entered and occupied the fourth seat in our compartment. From where i was sitting and the slight glimpse i got of her, she looked good. She was wearing a pink shirt and a trouser. Very formal and smart attire. I waited till dinner arrived and then came down from my berth and had my dinner. I sat there for around half an hour but could not talk to her. When i was about to get up on my berth the german female asked me a question about IIMA. It was then that the girl sitting next to me started smiling. I looked at her curiously, trying to come up with a one liner when she extended her hand and introduced herself. Rest of the night was spent talking to her...And guess why?

She was also a IIMA PGP 2009-2011. She was gonna be my batch mate for the next 2 years. :)

I have read many times,"Nobody dies a virgin. Life screws all". I guess my days of getting screwed are finally gonna end. :) Looking forward to adventerous next 2 years.

We reached ahmedabad station at 7:50 AM next morning. She had a few relatives to pick her up. We parted ways and i boarded an auto. Within 30 minutes i reached the campus. The enrollment process was very streamlined. By 9:30 AM i was in my room with laptop configured to access net using LAN cable. I was allotted Dorm 9 Room 9. This is where i will be spending the next 2 years of my life.

First walk through campus, seeing its red-brick designed with geometric shapes (circles, rectangles, squares, semi-circles), was a dream come true. I had seen this building in magazines and articles a million times and had always wondered what it would be like to be a part of these hallowed portals. And here i was, witnessing the same location with my own eyes. Heart was filled with pride and a sense of satisfaction. This is what it feels like when dreams come true.

Awkwardness of it all

Neha and I - We were both Gupta's and were called the "Gupta twins". Though i must specify that we were the kind of twins that Barney and his brother are in "How I Met Your Mother" - If fairness is defined on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being charcoal and 10 being Nicole Kidman, then i was a 4 and she was an 8.5.

We were best friends in school. I was number one in class (academically) and she was third. She had the best hand writing in the class and i had and still continue to have the worst, almost illegible. We would always sit and study together. Ours wasn't the most liberal of the schools and one of our teacher would often comment to us,"Tum dono jud kyun nahin jaate? Besharam kahin ke. (Why dont you two join together? Shameless creatures.". We would do all the leg-pulling together. I had this habit of never bringing a pen to the class and for almost 2 years she carried a spare one for me. She would whisper the answers sitting next to me when i was in the firing line of teacher's questions, often getting caught in the process. She knew about my crush in the class and would always tease me. We had a great time together.

After class 10 we went to separate colleges (In Amritsar and few other cities in Punjab, you have on option of going to a college or continue in a school for 11th and 12th standard). We never met for the next 8 years or so. Then we met on Orkut and finally after 8 years we met at Brijwasi - an awesome chat papdi and kinda stuff place very close to my place.

It was interesting meeting. On the day of our meeting i didnt want to be the first one to arrive so i was wandering in the park close to our rendezvous point, always keeping an eye at the entrance. I saw a good looking 8.5 (on a 10 point scale of hotness) arriving in a car. She was wearing a red sweater and was looking really good. I was wondering what she was doing at that place. It was not the best of places for a chic of her standards. Anyways, she didnt enter the place. She had one eye on the watch and the other sweeping the area looking for someone. I kept waiting for Neha for about 10-15 minutes but when she didnt show up i decided to go in and see if i had missed her. The moment i passed by that good looking chic, from the side of my eye i saw her staring at me.

Now i am not someone who is usually, rather ever, stared at by good looking 8.5's. Usually i get a 90 degrre head movement i.e. they look away and try hard not to even give a second look - a very potent and effective weapon used by them to keep guys like me at bay. Now since she was staring i thought of talking to her. The moment i turned, she smiled and said "Anurag Gupta, ab to tu pehchanega bhi nahin (Anurag Gupta, now you wont even recognise me)". It was Neha. I must mention here that Neha used to be quite overweight in school days and must have lost a lot in the last 8 years. I smiled, shook hands and we went in. While walking in, i took a second look at the place and then at her and was embarassed at the thought,"What the hell was i thinking inviting her to place like this". We had a good talk, shared memories of past and what we have been upto in last 8 years and then left. I never met her again till yesterday.

I was at Amritsar railway station, claiming the motor cycle that i had sent from Gurgaon after before leaving that place. I saw her passing by me and must mention that she was looking even better than the last time we had met. Now she was definitely a 9. I poked her with my finger as she passed by. She turned, smiled and shook hands with me. I started asking what she was doing, how things were and how it has been almost 2 years since we last met. She was feeling very uncomfortable. Fake smile on face, nervous demeanor and clutching of hands. And then i realized why.

While checking her out i had not realized that she was not alone. Then she introduced me to others," Anurag, this is my mother-in-law; he is my husband and she is my mother". I had not clue what to say next. And then a hand grabbed me by my arm and hugged me,"Anurag bhaiyya, mujhe pehchana?(Anurag, do you recognise me?) I am Neha's younger brother. Used to be your junior in school." He then faced me with his back towards others, stared at me with anger, his crazy eyes clearing saying,"FUCK OFF". Next moment i saw myself saying good bye to them all.

It was all so weird. In my usual disregard for circumstances and people, i had once again made a fool of myself. Anyways, lessons learnt:

1.) Dont ever poke a married women in public.

2.) If you do end up doing that, then make sure that you dont make her and others accompanying her uncomfortable with your friendliness.

And the most important one...

3.) Stay off a married female friend's brother. They are liable to get very angry.

I, Me, Myself

The following article has been written after "getting into our beloved Bhatti's shoes". For those who dont know him, Bhatti is - the centre of fun-poking of every group; falling in love like pat-jhad leaves, they just keep on falling endlessly every season; rising like a phoenix and again falling for next girl that he sees; never listening to Anurag, the wise one - kinda guy.

So when i say "getting into his shoes", i mean to imply that i have interpreted his today's status message keeping his above mentioned image in my mind.

So, Bhatti's today's status message read:

"Three main ingredients of happiness are; something to do, someone to love and something to hope for".

1.) Something to do: Bhatti is vehla these days. Absolutely no work. And sure as hell this time around he is not devoting his time (for the first time) running errands for his lady love. Some of the earlier errands being getting up at 6 in the morning to help her catch a bus - what the hell was that.

2.) Someone to love: I presume here that someone is just "one" and not "many". But in Bhatti's case we all know that this number can never be 1. It has and will always be more than 1.

3.) Something to hope for: For me Bhatti's hopes are - A tear shed for him in loneliness; a thought devoted to him and his loyalty :) ; a smile appropriated to his supposed sense of humour; a look at his orkut or facebook profile to get rid of that gut-wrenching pain of wanting to know what he is up to; a scan through good old happy-couple pictures to get a glimpse of him; assuming the roles of protagonists while watching a movie and savouring the voyeuristic pleasure of being with him; undertaking a journey back in time or in future with bhatti holding her head in her lap and gently caressing her, his minto-fresh breath wandering in her hair like a humming morning breeze...etc etc

So going by above three parameters, Bhatti should not be happy; but he is, he definitely is. And as Bhatti's best friend (Yes Bhatti I am your best friend. Though you will always say it is Nandu), I am hereby taking liberty to divulge and dawn upon him and any other senti souls like him the reasons for his happiness:

1.) Something to do: He is preparing for his upcoming stay in US, going for his MS.

2.) Someone to love: For the first time in his life he is loving himself ahead of any other damn soul on this earth.

3.) Something to hope for: He is hoping to do well for himself and his family after completion of his studies. He is hoping to get ahead in the race to be AOL's chief-of-staff. He has already assumed the role of AOL's face i.e. their marketing guy. (This is in reference to his very honest and convincing mail about joining AOL a few days back. Some of us had the divine fortune of being the recepients of his first ever marketing initiative.)

So to sum it all up, as per my theory, three main ingredients of happiness are - I, Me, Myself. Screw everyone else.

Dancing jodi of the day

Date: 24th May

Venue: Siri Fort Auditorium, New Delhi

Event: Shiamak Davar Summer Funk dance performance

"Short skirts, pretty legs...pretty legs..pretty legs"..this statement aptly describes the day (atleast for me). Never in my life had i seen so many AWESOME girls at one place. And the best part was that i could go and talk to just about anyone and say,"Hi, which song are you performing on?"...and the conversation started ranging from discussing the instructors, upcoming batches, etc.

Bd and I were part of DLF Gurgaon adult beginners batch. We were performing Shahrukh Khan starrer Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi medley. Around 30 people in the batch. We reached the audi at 8:30 AM. Atmosphere there was absolutely amazing. One could feel the energy in the air. Everyone ranging from 3-4 year kids to an 80 year old (yeah, you read that right) was excited to the core. Group leaders were holding placards for their respective groups. The rehearsals started around 9:30. There were 30 odd different songs on which students performed. Apart from regular students there were few special children (disabled) which were part of many performances. Their enthusiasm, smile on their faces when they performed, clapping of hands, etc. was really touching.

Our rehearsal came around 11. We had a total of 3 minutes of stage time. I had missed a class during the course and was a little shaky when it came to the part of song taught in that class. This was rather strange because i had practiced it like 10-15 times in the class. Despite that i was at ease during the entire song except for that 15 second sequence.

We all screwed up big time the moment we got on the stage. We had both sides entry i.e we entered both from left and right. The class room in which we practiced was a 10 by 20 room. Stage was a 15 by 35. We just didn't adjust to the bigger stage area and ended up crashing into each other. The show co-ordinator kept shouting from the front of the stage to "space out" but we kept on performing. From being in the 3rd line at the start, i used to move to front line for the second half and the part which i used to forget was in this second half only. The moment i came to front i forgot everything. From there on it was looking at left, right and on the floor for me. Overall we did ok types as a group and i was a -1 on a scale of 10.

After the rehearsal we re-grouped, discussed what had gone wrong and had a good laugh over it.

We were to perform twice on the stage. Show 1 was at 12:30 and show 2 at 5:30. We went to perform at around 3:30. This time everything went well. We spaced out from start, i didn't forget anything and after the performance our instructors Janaki and Neumen told us that we had done really well. We just had to smile a little more.

Second performance took place at 7. This was our final performance. Everyone was pumped up and it went very very well. We all came out screaming and giving high-5s to each other.

This was about our show. Now about the performers. The stars of our batch were my beloved BD and a Mrs. X (Name not disclosed). X was nearly 50 years old with a daughter of our age. BD and X were dance partners. Everytime before going on stage, BD and X could be seen rehearsing their steps. Actually there was a 10-15 second spot where everyone else apart from BD and X were sitting down. Bd and X performed a solo at that point. So they would rehearse endlessly during practice classes and before going on the stage.

One couldn't help but feel the romance in the air. One could clearly see a gentle caressing of hands when they would hold hands, looking into each other's eyes, gently re-assuring each other that are doing fine, occasional laughs exchanged when X would get tired due to her age and BD due to immense energy spent trying to control himself. BD was beaming with joy all along with his partner-of-choice and no wonder was always commented by our instructor,"Ajay is the one who is always smiling. Very good ajay".

Though i have at times wondered whether BD was thinking about junior X all this while. If so then i feel sorry for X; for while X was putting her best efforts trying to get BD's attention, BD haramkhor was looking at X with lecherous eyes looking for X's daughter's shadow in her eyes. In that case though i must appreciate the way BD handled this sensitive situation without ever offending X and savouring the voyeuristic pleasure all along.

As for me, i had the cherry of the class with me as partner. I had decided that i would ask her out on the last day but eventually decided to continue my 25-year no-girlfriend fast.

While driving back, i got a taste of BD's driving skills. A couple of times, we had to take a left turn. BD would keep on driving in the middle of the road, thinking that he will turn left when it is required, only to be honked out of way by a speeding cab from left and we would miss the turn. What would follow was a swearing at Delhi's traffic and never ending wait for a u-turn. Bd did eventually succeed in getting us back to Gurgaon. Journey back took us around 90 minutes, something that required only 45-50 minutes.

Dance at Shiamak's

First things first, I KNOW I SUCK AT DANCING..

Since IIMA results have came out, i've been literally free. There is nothing to do at all. No work (fortunately or unfortunately this time has coincided with my leisure days at office...thanks to ongoing recession), no study, no gym, no kids around...

Then started the google group of IIMA. Amidst lots of replies and threads flying around, one that caught my eye was the "those interested in dance" thread and replies therein. Our IIMA 2009-2011 batch has almost 15% girls. There were lots of queries from these kanyaein as to whether there is any dance club, are there dance performances held, any dance classes, etc etc. Going by the tuchhas (term for seniors at IIMA) replies, dance was a famous activity there.

Now my social life hasn't been a particularly successful one in terms of girlsssss...

This picture is the right depiction

.......................Mutually exclusive and exhaustive sets........

These two years of life at IIMA, probably my last as a student, were the last remaining hope of any social diffusion. So i was determined to use the dance forum at IIMA as a means to end my 25 years of vanvaas..

Hence the dance classes at Shiamak's. My beloved BD accompanies me to these classes. Somehow i can make BD accept anything and everything that i say. Bhulli and Mohan will remember the Rs.3000/- track-suit incident :) . I am writing this after having attended 3 classes and as i have already mentioned, i suck. And i am ok with it.

Lemme recall an episode from FRIENDS.."TOW all football"...All friends are playing american football. A Dutch girl is watching them. Joey and Chandler both eye her and their male hormones start going crazy. Chanlder tells Joey that he has just had a broken relationship and this girl might help him with getting over that. Joey replies,"Ohh..in that case you can have her". Chandler says,"I can have her..as if, if you don't allow me then i don't stand a chance". Joey replies," Yeahhhhhhh. But don't feel bad man. We all have our strengths. You are good with numbers and stuff"...

I know dancing is not my strength. I am ok with numbers and stuff. But that 5-foot 50 kg emaciated prick instructor of ours at the class was one son-of-a-bi***. Everytime he would look at me with a smile imprinted on his face saying,"Forget it pal." Add to that his usual comment,"Dude, bring some funk into you steps. It's looking more like aerobics and less like a dance".

Boy this was annoying. But in the FRIENDS episode, Chandler gives Joey the challenge as to who will get the girl. And guess what, Chandler wins and utters these immemorable words," Holland loves Chandler. Thank you Amsterdam. Good Night."

We still have 12 more classes. I am gonna get better and break the battisi of that prick instructor. Saala bahut hasta hai...

Entrepreneurship @ Prof. Sunil Handa

This is a blog entry of an IIMI guy about an entrepreneurship lecture delivered by prof. Sunil Handa, a very respected IIMA prof. I have copied it verbatim here..

How often have you been mesmerized by a speaker? How often have you wished that a seminar would never end? I'm sure it's not too many times...
But with Prof. Sunil Handa, that is exactly what happened. He has an ability to make you think and rethink. When he speaks about entrepreneurship, he can bring even a snail out of it's shell, to challenge the world.

I remember his words - "Be aggressive, Be assertive... Do not ask, Take it! The worst that could happen is that you will be told no." It would be IMPOSSIBLE to bring out the atmosphere of that session through this blog-post, but I'm just gonna let my thoughts flow...

Prof. Handa started off by asking people what stops them from venturing on their own.When he asked why many of us would want to work for a couple of years before starting a venture. Some of the replies which came out were:

1. I'd work for a couple of years to earn some capital (seed money) for my business.
2. I'd work for a few years to increase contacts and create a network.
3. I'd work some time to gain experience.
4. I have to pay back my educational loan.

How many of us give the exact same answers? Who are we kidding?

As Prof. Handa said, the only reason is - "Tumhari phat ti hai!" With his extremely frank style, he dismissed each of those bluffs one by one:

1. Seed Money

Two Years - How Much??!!On evaluating his earnings over 2 years, one of the participants here, "Nemo", said that he'd probably save about 2-3 Lakhs (he undervalued himself TOO much, the downturn has really psyched people out...). Isn't that a bit too little for capital money? Guess what the Prof had to say.... I'll give you a loan for 3 lakhs (zero interest) when you finish your studies. Work on your venture... If it clicks, you can pay me back the principle, otherwise forget about it. He had just one condition... Immediately write a letter to the Placement Cell telling them that you're opting out of Final Placements!! Did he accept the offer? Well, would you have? Let's face it - many out there are just too unsure about how much risk they can take.

2. Work to increase contacts

Prof Handa drew this diagram on the board and told us,
"During the next 2 years, you will be that small white dot in the huge organization.Do you think you're gonna build contacts with the boss of another company?".

Let's face it, he was right again. Kutte ki dosti Kutte se hi hoti hai.

lol ... I guess that rules out number 2 also. Prof. Handa gave the example of one incident when one of his students got an appointment with Mr. Dayanidhi Maran for half an hour which ended up getting cropped to 5 min. A small window of opportunity opened during that brief visit and Prof Handa said he slid through in that one-millionth of a second. Essentially, he wanted to prove how you must be aggressive, and the fact that you don't need work experience to create contacts. You might just see a vacant seat at a table of esteemed personalities. Go grab the chair!

3. To gain experience
According the Prof, you don't gain any experience at your 2 year job. Even if you do, you'd learn far more working on your own venture. So this reason is again pointless and just a myth.

4. To pay back educational loan
This is where Prof Handa spoke about "The Circle of screwed Indebtedness". What's that?? Well, it's essentially a vicious circle of loans... You know, loans taken to pay off previous loans. And the saga continues.... The prof was ready to give an offer here as well - To pay off our loan till we can pay him back, if we'd agree to start our own venture.Why exactly are people afraid??

When someone told the Prof that jobs were safe and comfortable whereas entrepreneurship was risky, he made a complete mockery out of him. He told us that it was the over-protective behaviour of many parents and at times their non-terminating government jobs which gave us such perceptions. For him, it was obvious... Venturing out on your own was the absolutely safer bet, and then again, he asked..."Don't you guys want to be rich?"

Oh that qs. triggered another drama when one of us said, "Money isn't that important, I just wana chill out and enjoy life."

Bad thing to say to Prof Handa. Another person got sent to the crusher.

Let me tell you a bit about "The Sunil Handa":
Born in a simple family, Prof Handa and his brother jumped into entrepreneurship early and with just Rs. 15,000. They soon owned over half a dozen pharma factories and had to their names a whooping 1200 Crores (1995). However, that was when life took a turn for him. A dispute and business split with his brother left him devastated. It took him numerous months and visits to all the saadhus (pendulum babas, magneto-therapists etc.) whom relatives referred him to, before he could come out of the depression. When he finally did, he kind of retired from his busy entrepreneur life, and started Eklavya School in Ahmedabad.

For the past 17 years, Mr. Sunil Handa has been teaching a course called "LEM" (Labrotary in Entrepreneurial Motivation), at IIM Ahmedabad, a course which he says has no book, no notes, no quizzes/exams, practically no pedagogy. Just a few lectures and a whole load of one-to-one sessions. And his students he calls LEMmers. Prof Handa said that around 200 of his students are entrepreneurs today; people who interact with him very regularly and seek guidance on numerous issues.

There were two main entrepreneurial examples which the Professor gave:

The first one was of Mr. K R Rao, one of Prof. Handa's own batchmates at IIM Ahmedabad. (1977-1979) This lad was a true social butterfly at that time; someone who many didn't even remember during their silver jubilee reunion (2004). But with "Orchid Chemicals & Pharmaceuticals" under his sleeve, Rao's net worth is over Rs. 3000 crore today. Though Mr. Rao was a B.Com-MBA grad, he was a true visionary.

Moving on to the next example, Prof. Handa spoke about his teaching career's first entrepreneurial student, Mr. Narendra Murkumbi. This lad's first idea was that of manufacturing a Neem Insecticide in Belgaum. Though Prof. Handa was apprehensive about the idea initially, he was assured of its success after speaking to an international neem expert, Dr. Gupta at ICRISAT. Though the product turned out to be a great success, the customers were farmers and hence the Receivables on his balance sheets were huge. It was in 1995 that Narendra came up with the idea of buying old sugar mills and starting production of sugar. Prof Handa told him that he was crazy and that sugar was meant for people in the upper echelons of politics. But like many entrepreneurs, Mr. Murkumbi was willing to risk it. He went on with his plan and today he is the owner of one of the world's most scientific state-of-the-art sugar mills, Shree Renuka Sugars Ltd. Not only that, he was also featured as one of India's new bilionaires by Business World.

One interesting thing about Renuka Sugars is that they use co-generation to produce their own energy (using the waste, bagasse which comes from sugarcane). No electricity is purchased from outside. When Murkumbi explained the idea to Prof Handa, he said, "When god created sugarcane, he put enough energy in it to bring the sugar out of it."

Flirting with Ideas
After numerous success stories, Prof Handa told us that we must face reality, and it's not necessary that your first venture becomes a million dollar lottery. You have to experiment..."Flirt with different ideas" and eventually one of your plans will click. For some it's the first... for Prof Handa it was the 7th.

One on One Interaction
It was after the first session that Prof Handa decided to interact with a few participants who were interested in entrepreneurship. I was lucky enough to have the opportunity as well. (Thanks Jalan...). It was nice speaking to Prof Handa for about 25 min where we discussed certain patchy ideas that I had in my mind. He had so much to share and I could've sat there forever. But time is one thing you don't get when you need it the most. Anyways, I guess we all hope to interact with him again in the future. Let's see how much effect such talks have on IIM Indore's participants, and how many of us venture out on our own some day....