Underworld Theory

There are three types of cities. First, there are big cities like Mumbai, Delhi, etc. Second, are the tier-2 cities like Amritsar(Anurag, Kunal, Nanda, etc.) , Ludhiana(Bhulli) , etc. Then there is the third category, which hardly qualifies as a city and is usually accompanied by phrases like
"Then there is this small village called",
"Oh, i forgot to mention this village",
"Yeah, I know of this this village"...etc etc.

They lie on the periphery, hardly noticeable.

Now people from this category are generally smart enough to understand that they are not big-city boys, but they are not humble enough to accept that they are small-town boys. So they kinda suffer from this identity crisis. They keep looking for reasons/arguments to support their make-believe we-are-not-small-town-boys theory.

Along with this identity crisis is the mis-conception that "Our village is far more developed than your city".

The Underworld theory was advanced when our beloved underdeveloped-village boy BD was suffering from this developed-city syndrome. Though widely dis-credited by one and all, world still deserves to know it, since it is not everyday that BD comes up with a theory.

So kids(Since i have already widely propagated this theory among our compatriots, I am addressing future generations some decades down the line... considering that this might be BD's only legacy left in absence of other means of doing it), it was a Sunday afternoon. I was sitting in our living room with your uncle BD, and a few other friends. We were having our usual bantering session, which in our case was always taking dig at BD. And BD was his usual self, defending every argument and not accepting his village roots, not accepting that his village is still under-developed with no major development initiatives being taken.

Few dialogues..

BD,"Anurag Gupta, tujhe pata hai abhi kuchh din pehle news aa rahi thi ki Ferozepur,(yeah, this is where BD hails from) mein 2700 crore ki heroin pakdi gayi. Aur Anurag Gupta, 2700 crore to disclose kiya gaya hai...actual value to aur bhi zyada hogi. Tumhare Amritsar mein kabhi pakdi gayi hai itni amount".

We all had just one thing to say,"How is this statement related to development of ferozepur?"

Then came the moment of truth....

The Underworld Theory

BD,"Anurag Gupta, kisi bhi developed city, london, NY, Mumbai, Delhi, etc etc ko dekh le. In sab ki development underworld ke aane ke baad hi hui hai. Pehle yeh sab cities normal development dekh rahi thi. Underworld aaya, aur uske baad hi city ki rapid development hui..aur aaj yeh sab cities development index mein top pe hain. Ab Ferozepur mein bhi underworld aa gaya hai..ab tu dekhta ja, Ferozepur mega-city ban ne waala hai. Ab Ferozepur mein development hogi... Aur abhi kuchh din pehle Ferozepur ki central jail se 3 qaidi bhi faraar hue hain. Voh teenon Prison Break dekh ke inspire hue the. Tumhare Amritsar mein hua hai aisa kuchh "

Pin-drop silence for a few moments..and then the usual...loud laughter. While BD tried his level-best to make us believe his theory, none of us was listening.

Kids, i always though that development was about infrastructure projects being undertaken, basic amenities like education, food, etc. being provided to citizens, development of industry and employment opportunities, etc etc

But not your uncle BD. He had a radically different view on development and had to face the same consequences that all radical thinkers had to face.... Not understood by contemporaries and subject to laughter and ridicule...for a long long time..

Underworld theory was not the only development index advanced by your uncle BD.
Along with this, certain other sub-theories related to pointers of development were also advanced..

Border Theory

BD,"Anurag Gupta, hamare Ferozepur mein border kholne ki baat chal rahi hai.."
Anurag," BD, hamare Amritsar mein roz shaam ko border khulta hai"..
BD," Oye saale, mein aava-gaman ki baat kar raha hun. Border khol rahe hain taaki log aa ja sakein"
Anurag."BD, hamare Amritsar mein to yaar border aava-gaman ke liye 1999 mein hi khol diya gaya tha jab Lahore-Delhi bus service shuru hui thi"...

More laughter...

Railway Track Theory

BD,"Anurag Gupta, tum logon ke chote sheharon mein do-do railway track hote hain. ek jaane ke liye or ek aane ke liye. But hamari developed cities mein ek hi track hota hai, ussi se jaate hain aur ussi se aate hain. Two-way tracks."

i didnt say anything..everyone ws rolling on the floor and BD realised this. He tried in vain to make us understand whatever his point was, but it was a tad too late for explanations.

So kids, this was your uncle BD.
Next time when you hear of railway tracks being added to existing ones, dont be happy. And when you hear news of kidnappings, prison breaks, mafia killings, etc dont get sad. Just think of your uncle's theory. You will find hope even in that hour of despair. Who knows, BD's theory might be true.

And i really wish they do turn out to be true...may be he will then rest in peace.

Long live the radical. Long live BD..